Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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