So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize