Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
