Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
When did angry sex become our thing?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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