you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
