Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize