did you get engaged???
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So vagazzling was a success
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
