I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
