all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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