We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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