He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
