If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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