we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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