OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
