id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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