Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
