tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's no shave November. This is our time.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
