Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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