Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
