Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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