She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
