where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
