can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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