I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
