he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
