You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
