That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
