tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Someone came in the potted fern
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
as a side note pls kill me
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