did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
