I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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