There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize