last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
