you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Damn victory sex feels great
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
