We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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