Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
