I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
