I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
