you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
