Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
