that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
