He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
