I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
