no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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