just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Who died my cat blue again?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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