Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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