i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
