your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
