I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
