im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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