She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
