But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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