Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
