flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
