i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize