I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
