we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
