So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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