Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
