you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
