We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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