i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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